he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
