Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
