Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
