You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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