...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
