Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
