Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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