he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
