when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
