WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
And then my night got REAL pukey
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
