im gay
i know
yea but for you.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
