i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
