mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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