we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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