She's JV to your varsity
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
