Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
