Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
