super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
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