sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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