you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
