Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
either way he was missing a nipple.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
