what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Randomize
