clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
If its not for food we ain't going out.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
