Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
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