oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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