If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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