all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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