I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
how does that bad decision feel?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
