are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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