remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
