Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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