happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
