Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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