She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
