White coat. Heels.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Randomize
