So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
