i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
