I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
