I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
