Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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