I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
