Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Buhtt sex?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
