I got chris browned last night
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
