I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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