Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
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