Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
