And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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