Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
