Kiss
Puke
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
