I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
