You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
