my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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