If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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